Letters Never Sent
by EwokPoet
Summary: A 40-year-old bohemian calling himself "Lil" travels the Corellian sector, occasionally writing letters and recording messages to "Ranni", the woman he abandoned without a notice, hoping that they will either reunite someday or that, in case of his death, his letters will be passed on to her. Reading The Black Star and my short stories is recommended, but not necessary.
1. Entry 01

**RECORDING STARTED**

 **LOCAL TIME: 01:23**

 **GALACTIC LOCATION: CORONET CITY, CORELLIA**

Kriff this, how do I turn the location feature off?

Ranni, Ranni, Ranni...you must be waiting for me at our secret place and I'm light years away - which is not a metaphor by any means, but how could you know? We always tend to think the worst about those we love, especially in a relationship like yours and mine, where we always had to be so secretive in a world where secrecy has become the breakfast, lunch and dinner of champions. Maybe even a twenty-three hundred snack, one of those dehydrated, vile rice crackers that I don't think anybody actually likes. That said, I was offered a bunch of those with some sort of a slightly spiced tea.

I know, I know, Ranni, I said spiced tea. I never learn. And I'm starting to feel slightly shaky, because I don't have any of the you-know-what with me. Ironically, the ship that smuggled me to Corellia was carrying spice, in the same hidden compartment that I was hiding. Imagine that! The emotional torture of the credits I paid to be taken here, and then some! Not to mention that it was the dirtiest ship I have ever seen. Are all interplanetary vessels like this? In that case, I am going to crawl into a corner somewhere and never leave.

I am inclined to say that, if you were subjected to all I will be subjected to - from the destruction of my person that I have to go through willingly, to the destruction of my person on THEIR behalf - you would have reached for spiced tea, too. And yes, I reached out to it to enhance my artistic capabilities in the cold and grey world we live in, but that was my decision and nobody else's.

By tonight, you will be angry with me. I can totally see you with that hateful neighbourhood girl. She will complain about her deadbeat boyfriend who has not graduated yet and who parties hard at whichever cantina they had not kicked him from yet; and you, you will complain about me and express your concerns about so many women whom you saw as a threat. Then you will be making all these vague guesses about how I eloped...AS IF. As if I was allowed to marry in the first place...good joke, Ranni, will you tell me another, please?

By the time her boyfriend calls her over and wonders if she was cheating on him, you will both have resolved to never ever trust men again and never ever have children. And I know beings like her: she will eventually have a child with that deadbeat. You...I cannot see that happening. You're too hostile to be in a relationship with anybody other than me and not the type to jump into the arms of whoever comes along next, like your sister did. I can see you as a leader. I can even see you becoming one of THEM.

Wait, are you actually one of them and you never told me about it?

Kriff you, Rani!

Whom am I kidding? I love you. We were never a perfect match, but I love you. I wish I could have left you a datacard or one of those handy cubes, but had I done so, they would have been able to trace me. They eventually will - they can find anybody, in any place. But I would like to live for a couple more years.

I'm a new person. Whatever that means. I have a new life and I am not looking forward to it. I don't even know what my profession will be. I was not schooled for useful things like you and your very important friends.

Please, pat those perky twins for me. And by "perky twins", I mean your niece and nephew, not what the neighbour thought that one time when she slapped me upside my face. But I don't hate her, or her controlling boyfriend. I don't hate your family. I don't hate anybody...

...but I do hate myself. Sometimes. Tonight.

Now I need to think of how to rely this audio recording to you. And I apologise for the noise behind me - there are some large furry creatures that communicate in weeps, meeps and yelps and I can't tell if they're fighting or not. This place is full of creatures I have never seen and tonight, I have to sleep among them, as they're rolling drunk on the cantina floor; as I am not in the right state of mind to be looking for an apartment.

 **LOCAL TIME: 01:42**

 **RECORDING STOPPED. ERROR 1337: DATACARD FULL**


	2. Entry 02

**RECORDING STARTED**

 **LOCAL TIME: 01:23**

 **GALACTIC LOCATION: CORONET CITY, CORELLIA**

Well, kriff me, Ranni. Kriff me.

I listened to the data I recorded for you last night and I realised that I was under influence of that spiked, spiced tea. I can imagine you never arriving to my saying this because you threw the playback dongle away after I dropped the k-blast. But…you did, so...prog. It's me, again, and I am very, very sober. Today was quite a day.

I cannot remember falling asleep at the cantina last night, but at some point, a man woke me up and managed to drag me and my luggage out of the corner near the 'fresher door, where I had apparently spent the night. He asked me what I was doing in one of the worst possible places to be on the whole planet and added that I was lucky not to have been robbed. I was scared, Ranni. They were always telling us about how hard it is to make it alive on Corellia, with all the violence, debauchery and lack of discipline. And then...he appears and he's nice. I bet you would be confused, too! Not to mention that nobody attempted to kill me yet..?!

He took me out of the cantina. His son was waiting by a hovering speeder outside. After hours spent drowning my sorrow in suspicious beverages, I was blinded by the light outside…

…and snow. It snowed...a lot. Do you remember how we met? Of course, you do, unless _she_ told you to forget me. It was snowing, they were chasing me and then, there was you – the big girl with an authority who kicked the poodoo out of them. I remember being convinced that you were much older than me, perhaps even one of the teachers. Isn't that funny, Ranni, to mistake somebody five months younger than you for a teacher? And I never had the courage to share this story with you, the coward that I am.

Anyway…the boy asked me if I was a Clone Wars refugee. I shrugged. I was about to ask him what kind of "clones" he was talking about, and then I remembered that field hospital back at home, where a lot of troopers looked suspiciously similar. I did not realise they were not ours back then! Not to mention that nobody ever told _us_ about devastating wars raging through the Galaxy. And now, this youngling tells me that the Republic is fighting Separatists. I don't understand how they would physically separate from the Galaxy, as the intergalactic void is increasing and all...how do you move planets, Ranni?

And I told him all that, yes. I asked him how one would go about moving planets and systems to another Galaxy. The youngling was bemused.

"Were you frozen in carbonite or something?" He tells me, and I have no idea what that means. He explains that I did not appear aware or how the universe worked. I'm not sure if I like that.

Then his father overhears our conversation and tells him to shut the kriff up.

This is where they finally introduce themselves to me. The father is Jax Pavan. He says that there are millions, if not billions of people sharing his name. Then he proudly adds that his son's name is unique. The young man begged him not to tell me anything beyond "Dale", but his father proudly said that Dale is short for Dandelion Roba. The earlier is a plant, the latter is an animal and the Pavans found those words in thesaurus.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ...ahahahaha hahahahaha hihihi...

 **LOCAL TIME: 01:35**

 **RECORDING STOPPED**

 **RECORDING STARTED**

 **LOCAL TIME: 01:39**

Sorry about that, Ranni. You were always saying that my cackling resembled a swarm of horny grain flies who had some bad corn, so I turned the recorder off. Now, where was I?

So, yes, Jax said that his son's actual name was Dandelion Roba and…hehe…I'm sorry…a couple of people turned around and poor Pavan youngling looked as if he was about to fall through the ground. I felt sorry for him, but a part of me wanted to laugh - tall as a sturdy Selonian trooperette, there he was, nearly crying. I wanted to put my hand on his shoulder, but I could barely reach to his buttocks, he's got to be 190 centimetres tall, Ranni! Luckily, that made him laugh. Now I understand why important beings like you have to deal with the so-called protocol. Imagine if you grabbed one of Them like that?

I know I will never have descendants, Ranni...but in an unlikely event that we are back with each other and that you are expecting, promise me that you would never name a child Dandelion Roba!

Jax is a smuggler. He realised what planet I came from even before I told him. I told him that it was pretty easy to get away yesterday, with a suspicious large shuttle escorted by our glorious ramships heading the same way. Nobody cared about the ugly freighter that I was on. The second question he asked, I had no answer for it, not at all. He asked me what I want to do and where I was going.

He laughed when I told him about my profession and my degree. He studied for a mechanic in his hometown, a place called Tyrenna and he wants Dale to become a mechanic like him, too; because "there are credits in the game, lots of credits". Then he said that I should find a job as a teacher and that he "knows the right scoundrel" to set me up with a new name. Dale was slightly concerned when he brought up this person's name, but Jax dismissed his concerns.

They took me to what they call a "safer neighbourhood" and left me in front of a place called Auer & Auer.

"Corellia is the best place to disappear in times like these. Good luck!" Jax told me as he climbed back into his speeder. Dale waved to me until they disappeared from sight – or I like to think that he did, these speeders are actually fast - and then, only then did I realise that I forgot to ask for their comm codes.

So, I'm sleeping in what appears to be a hostel, told them I was twenty and they believed me, and tomorrow, I'm waiting for my scoundrel to help me get a work permit and whatever else I may need to blend in. We'll see what happens next.

 **LOCAL TIME: 02:22**

 **RECORDING STOPPED**


	3. Entry 03

RECORDING STARTED

LOCAL TIME: 01:23

GALACTIC LOCATION: GUS TRETA INNER MARKET STATION, GUS TRETA

Why is it 1:23 every time I start recording, Ranni?

If I was in your huge library at home, there would've been your ancient chrono ticking behind me...that awful little thing from the days we were allegedly brought to the Sector by the Celestials, looming over me. You know, I never believed that story. That chrono would have been millions of years old and it would have not been a chrono in the first place. And you, you were trying to tell me that Celestials invited chronos…or something.

I'm looking at Corellia from a durasteel window. It's a pretty planet, you know? Much prettier than ours. It has oceans and continents! Sure, it's frightening to a certain extent, but it's beautiful! Not to mention that I can gawk at it as much as I want to and I won't be arrested for it.

I apologise for this digression, Ranni. I need to tell you what happened throughout the day and explain why I'm here. I'm slightly hungry right now and I have no idea what time of the day it actually is where I am, so I'm longing for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack, anything. But my priority is you.

In the morning…yes, I really woke up at seven in the morning, me out of all beings, Ranni…do not look at me like that, because I know you are…the owner of the AurekAurek hostel brought me food. The bread was awful. What are they doing to our beautiful dust corn when it reaches other planets? What do they mix it up with?

So, the owner…her name is Klootil Geelmen and she introduced me to her husband, Tiodre. He was not particularly chatty, he had to take these two magnificent creatures with long things on their heads to a place called Lastdark, where they were to perform for somebody called Blobbo the Hutt. Klootil herself did not like the way he was looking at them, so they ended up arguing. Tiodre implied that he does not think they will be coming back and she asked him how he can take part in this, then. His response was that some people's fate is "just like that".

Me, I had no idea what was going on, so I sat in the hostel's large den, overlooking the snowy fields outside. The tall buildings of the city centre were visible in the distance, though it was really, really foggy.

Tiodre and Kloo's children were already done with breakfast and they were playing nearby - a toddler named Aerenna and a fourteen-year-old named Aryan. They have bright red hair, unlike their parents. And they're quite smart. Kloo joined me after she sent Tiodre away and we talked about the younglings. She had nothing but praise for her eldest! Aryan had been to Coruscant, she said. He's in a special programme for gifted youth and he says that he wants to be a xenobiologist.

Now, I was not convinced that it was the right career choice, the same way I never thought that gemology was for you, Ranni. There was something weird in the way Aryan was looking at me. Perhaps you are not the best comparison, because you never seemed particularly interested in the gems, nor you ever told me much about your business…and he, on the other hand, seemed way too interested in…me. I could swear that he stared at my right ear and then he pulled a hair from my shoulder!

I asked him why and he said that he wanted to see if I was the same as the Drall from, well, would you have guessed it, Drall. Kloo was slightly angry at first, but then she rolled her eyes and said that Ary gets carried away so easily. He nodded and offered to show me teeth, nails and hair he picked from other non-Humans. I politely declined the offer. Then Aerenna walked up to me and sat on my lap. That was unpleasant, Ranni, she's almost as big as me and quite heavy! The only good thing about this was Ary telling me that the creature I saw earlier was a species named "twilight". I thought there were only three species in the Galaxy...but yes, ever since Zizi told me that there were so many more, I've been hoping to meet some of them…

…but I should not have said that to Ary. He said that he could name a couple of thousands of them and he went on and on about it. In Aurebesh order…

…and that's how I got stuck with a toddler and an adolescent, until Jax and Dale picked me up early in the afternoon. They explained that we will leave Corellia and I was slightly worried. There came Jax's long explanation about how I need to re-enter the planet from a different point and pose as a Clone Wars refugee, and that their friend Bastard will help me.

I asked them why they call their friend that, Jax laughed out loud and Dale said that Sacorrian accent is pretty unique. I am not sure why would anybody name their child Bastard, but when a Dandelion Roba tells you it's normal, then I guess they're a bunch of grannos, all of them! I thought the non-progressive, mind-damaging granno culture was a Vagran thing and Vagran…is close to home, but far away from Corellia. How do these scary cults spread?

They took me in their runabout. I had to sit on Dale's lap, which was a pretty odd experience. He's a man, Ranni, a man sitting on another man's lap is strange! Don't They send you to Prison for that? At this point, I was wondering if this little ship's name was actually Bastard, but no, its name is Ysica. So, who or what is this Bastard and why aren't they telling me more?

And then, they left me here. This place is called Gus Treta Inner Market Station and it orbits one of the three little moons… Yes, I am allowed to look at the other two - Gus Talon and "the moon". Funny that, it doesn't have a name, like the other two. Back at home, we have that Trindello family who had a whole star system named after them and these Corellians cannot name a single moon! And then...just who is crazy there? Us or them?

I really need to get something to eat, but it seems like I'm on some sort of a fuelling depot?! And there is a kriffin' baby with a starfighter toy stuck in its mouth…?

LOCAL TIME: 03:00

RECORDING STOPPED


	4. Entry 04

**RECORDING STARTED**  
 **LOCAL TIME: 09:54**  
 **GALACTIC LOCATION: GUS TRETA INNER MARKET STATION, GUS TRETA**

The baby eventually managed to get that fighter plane toy out of his mouth, with a lot of effort on behalf of two people in the fuelling station uniforms. All of that at the expense of my sleep! The amount of times I heard "Wedge, cut it out" and "Wedge, don't eat it" almost makes me want to order topato wedges. I am not sure if these Corellians appreciate true, progressive Sacorrian sense of humour, but…but it matches! It matches, I swear! That baby is not to be handled raw, he might give you an illness. My ears are still ringing. Why don't they put some nice whiskey into his food? It's not like he was destined to save us all, or anything, he does not really have to be alert all the time.

Eventually, an aloof young girl who introduced herself as Syal brought me a glass of bantha milk and a nerf steak sandwich. It was about time!

And that is how I went from being stuck with an adolescent and a baby to being stuck with…an adolescent and a baby! The girl, she seems distant, but to me, that is a good thing - she is not interested in dismembering me, examining me or whatever. Trust me, I have been sober for two days and that Aryan got me more paranoid than when I was examined by Them. You don't know about that, Ranni, do you? Of course, you don't, you were probably on their side all along.

Syal asked me where I was from and she was the first Corellian who did not laugh upon hearing it – if these moon-people are true Corellians, that is! Sacorria fascinates her, she said. Any place with beautiful women is fascinating, she thinks. She wants to change her last name, because it's too common. And she wants to be famous. She does not want to be stuck on a space station orbiting a moon, she wants to feel rain on her skin and sunbathe whenever she wants to. She even has a new name made up for herself: Wynssa Starflare. Younglings, they're so silly sometimes! The next thing you know, she'll be running away from home or something!

Two hours later, I finally got introduced to Bastard. Bastard Terrik is his name. He had just docked his ship and he was not in the mood for talking, because the trip from Naboo took too long. He only shook my hand and mumbled something about Jax and Dale and their "shady schemes". A woman and a child stepped out of the freighter and proceeded to the sandwich conservator in the fueling station. And I'm looking at them eat, three tables away from me. Looks like they didn't want to sit close to me.

But Naboo. Naboo!

Ranni, I am not sure how I will get over the fact that Naboo exists! Sure it was this...this beautiful, mythical place that we learned about at the Academy...okay, you were taking notes and I was passing notes, but still...it was a myth. A planet that is beauty and art, at its finest. Apparently, this is where a "separatist crisis" that begun these "clone wars" had started eleven years ago. Sounds pretty real to me! These two people couldn't have come from a made-up place, right? Also, it's shaped like all other planets, it's not exactly a giant statue. Sometimes I wonder if They…

 **LOCAL TIME: 10:08**  
 **RECORDING STOPPED**

 **RECORDING STARTED**  
 **LOCAL TIME: 10:10**  
 **VOICE IDENTIFIED AS BELONGING TO A HUMAN OR NEAR-HUMAN CHILD, AGE 3-5**  
 **ADD A NAME TAG FOR THIS USER? Y/N**  
 **NO NAME TAG GIVEN. SPEAKER ADDED TO MEMORY AS HUMAN. USER ADDED TO MEMORY AS HUMAN CHILD #503**

If I become a tooka, do I get to eat tooka food?

The big girl wants to be famous. I want to be famous too. I want to have my own show.

 _Brave, brave, little banthas_  
 _Brave, brave, little banthas_  
 _Brave, brave, little banthas_  
 _Serving the Republic, salutes!_

 **LOCAL TIME: 10:22**  
 **RECORDING STOPPED**


	5. Entry 05

14 DAYS HAVE PASSED SINCE LAST LOGIN. REAUTHENTICATION REQUIRED. ENTER NAMECODE!  
NAMECODE: *****  
NAMECODE CORRECT. WELCOME, *****  
RECORDING STARTED  
LOCAL TIME: 16:32  
GALACTIC LOCATION: ORANGE SECTOR, CORONET CITY, CORELLIA

Ranni, I am so, so, so sorry! I have not recorded one single message for you since that thing on Gus Treta Station…place. If you could actually hear the most recent one, you would've probably been worried about me. There was silence, followed by somebody singing what I now know is the _Brave Banthas_ theme and then the recording stopped!

So, as I said fourteen days ago…I was sitting three tables away from a child and a light-blonde Human woman every Human male at the fuel station's dining area seemed to be staring at…they had arrived to the space station aboard Booster Terrik's freighter. That's right, _Booster_ and not _Bastard_! Fixing this commcorder's input microphone made me realise how many things I've been getting wrong all along. Not progressive at all! Now I have a well-working commcorder, a new name, residency permit and a home in a decent area of the Coronet City…and I have these two strangers to thank for that! And they're with me. Or I am with them. The woman and her child, that is. Life writes some truly, truly strange stories sometimes, Ranni!

All of that happened because the little korrak stole my commcorder, ran to the 'fresher, locked himself inside and had his own little show, until the owner of the fuel station, whose name is Jagged, dragged him out by ear. The youngling's mother came up to him and demanded that he let the boy go. He went on and on about how tough love is the staple of youngling upbringing and how Syal is behaving like a proper young girl. I was this close, thin-whisker-close to telling him that his daughter very likely hates him, but she was right there, across the dining area, cleaning some glasses and she...she gave me this worried look. I nodded and decided to keep our secret.

Once the woman calmed down and I had my commcorder back, the boy tried to pick me up. He kept on singing that dreadful bantha songlet that I must admit is now growing on me and asking me downright strange questions. Unlike his mother, he has dark blonde, almost brown hair and greenish…brownish eyes. He is slightly freckled, too. He said his name was Angel, but his mother just shook her head. Apparently, it's a common joke for him to introduce himself as Angel...His actual name is strangely close to that word, nevertheless. Anjie. The mother is Gwynda.

What happened next would have been hard to describe, but somehow, the commcorder was on in the passive mode when Jagged's wife, Zena, handed it back to me...so, I have a portion of our first conversation! Ranni, if this ever gets to you, you will learn some facts about not one, but two worlds!

 **▲CLIP:START *anjie▲**

 **Voice identified as belonging to a Human woman, age 30-35**  
 **Add a name tag for this speaker? Y/N**  
 **No name tag given. Speaker added to memory as Human Woman 1970**

 **Human woman 1970 "Gwynda, and you?"**

 **Commcorder owner "Lil. My name is Lil."**

 **Human child 503 "If I die and become a tooka, do I have to eat tooka food?"**

 **Commcorder owner "Didn't you ask us that already?"**

 **Human woman 1970 "Erenedo! Let the man talk…you're a man, right? I can never tell, I'm so sorry…"**

 **Commcorder owner "Yes, I'm a man. Drall women are slightly taller."**

 **Human child 503 "I'm a boy, too. I'm informative…informal…"**

 **Commcorder owner "Inferior? That's not a case with Humans, as far as I know…"**

 **Human child 503 "I'm scum, like daddy."**

 **Commcorder owner "Gwynda, I must say I'm puzzled. You say you came from Naboo…"**

 **Human woman 1970 "That's right, Lil. But I'm not from Naboo. Some years ago I went there on a diplomatic mission, as an aide...and I met Aldo."**

 **Commcorder owner "Aldo?"**

 **Human child "Daddy scum!"**

 **Human woman 1970 "Aldo was a law student, dark and handsome. As they later told me, a typical 'Naboo charmeur'. He was in the group that did practice at the senator offices…he offered to show me Theed, Keren and the Lake Country, since senator Amidala, was away. He even took me to see those heroic Gungans! We hung out a lot. One evening, we walked around the ramparts of a sacred place somewhere, it got dark and, you see, I cannot see well in the dark, so he was helping me walk…and one thing led to another. The other aide told the whole group that I broke the rules and they went back home and I remained on Naboo. We had a very granno view on life, so to say. Aldo could play clavi-pian and I am a good singer, we planned to form a band and play in a place called Club Deeja in Keren, but then I got pregnant."**

 **Commcorder owner "And had this little boy?"**

 **Human woman 1970 "Yes. For some reason, Aldo's family insisted that his name begins with an A. Anjie, after Aldo, Arvel, Agne…and then...anyway...Aldo's mother was getting on my nerves from day one. She believed in all these legends about my people, and said something about how Anjie will be sought after across the Galaxy for being incredibly handsome. Aldo threw in a joke that scared me – that more Naboo charmeurs should be paired with Hapan maidens for a new race of beautiful people."**

 **Commcorder owner "Breeding beautiful and charming people? Why would anybody breed people of any kind?"**

 **Human woman 1970 "That, that exactly brought us to what is going on with the Galaxy right now, I agree."**

 **Commcorder owner "Women are superior to men in my world, too. But not among Humans, that is why I was puzzled."**

 **Human woman 1970 "Now I am curious! Tell me more! The rest of my story is boring, anyway...typical young and stupid romdram."**

 **▼Clip:end▼**

So, I did. _I told her more._ It's been two weeks since then and I am not sure what Gwynda meant by "what is going on with the Galaxy right now". But she sure liked hearing about how the Duchesses may or may not allow a common man like me to marry on Sacorria. She asked me if I was married and when I said that I was not, she proposed that we rent a home together and pretend to be in a relationship.

Booster came up with the rest of the plan - we are asylum seekers from the Outer Rim and we became involved during a separatist raid. If Gwynda wasn't only a little bit taller than you, Ranni, this wouldn't have made much sense. I'm barely one metre tall, for progress' sake!

She had to take on a last name, as not all Hapans have them. Despite her anger with Aldo, she decided to go with his, and have the same last name as her son - Mencuri. I was, thankfully, asked to supply a name only. I went with Lidgrain and they believed me that Lil could be a nickname for it. I am getting better with the world outside of our system, yes, I am!

Once back on Corellia, we spent three days in Jari's Memorial Refugee Sanctuary, where we shared a double bed, in a room with ten other beings. Anjie was nervous. He was quiet during the day and then he talked a lot in his sleep and sang that _Brave Banthas_ theme over and over again! Luckily, that is behind us now - we were allocated to a beautiful apartment in the Orange Sector. The high rise is forty-two levels tall, but we are not too far up, only on the second level.

I am supposed to be looking for some sort of a job. Until then, I am babysitting Anjie while Gwynda works as a hostess at a sabacc joint. By the way, I am not really in a relationship with her...don't worry! I understand that she is exceptionally beautiful, but she's Human. And even if she were a Drall, I would not have been interested, Ranni. There is nobody like you!

LOCAL TIME: 18:47  
RECORDING STOPPED

 _"T...this is stranger than I thought. First Wedge Antilles and Wynssa Starflare and then...Anjie Mencuri? The great Mencuri himself? It cannot be, there has got to be another Naboo kid who came to Corellia called that!"_


End file.
